My Daughter and My Wife Go Black
Based on e-mail from a man
Our [white] daughter is 19, attends a nearby college. To save money still lives with us. She has her own bedroom and sometimes has male friends over when we are out. It took a while, but we got used to it.
This one Friday night my wife and I were supposed to go out for dinner as usual, but there was a long line at our favorite restaurant. We decided to just grab a couple hamburgers at a drive-through and head home -- a couple hours earlier than usual.
As we sat in the kitchen eating our hamburgers, we heard the bed squeaking in our daughter's upstairs bedroom. My wife and I looked at each other. It was obvious she was having sex. We felt guilty listening, but there was no place for us to go and we assumed that things would end in a few minutes.
In fact, things got louder and just kept going, seemingly non-stop for 20 more minutes. We distinctly heard our daughter climax more than once. My wife wanted to leave, but I refused; this was our house and we weren't going to be forced to leave.
I wanted to turn on the TV, but my wife said, "Then she'll know we are here and be really embarrassed."
We tried to quietly talk about things -- anything we could think of -- and at one point my wife said, "Her latest boyfriend is a black athlete," as if that explained things. The noise continued. My wife was getting pretty disconcerted, and finally she said, "How can she take that?
Trying to hold my cool, I said, "I think you're jealous."
My wife looked rather defiantly at me, "Well, for sure you've never been able to go that long."
"Could you handle it if I could?"
"I guess I'll never know."
I countered with, "Maybe he has an older brother."
The noise finally stopped and soon we heard the shower running. When it stopped my wife said, "If they start up again, we're out of here!"
I walked over to the front door and opened and closed it with a bang. After a while they both came downstairs. We were drinking coffee, but they saw the fast-food remains on the kitchen table.
The young man, all of 6-4, said his goodbyes, kissed my daughter on the cheek, and hurried out the front door.
Later that night I was in the basement working on my computer. I've never let it be known, but the stove pipes leading to the furnace carry sound from a vent right under the kitchen table -- and my wife and daughter were apparently seated at the table.
To my wife's credit she has kept an open and honest relationship with our daughter -- something that helped her survive an adolescence surrounded by drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol. Despite my objections, my wife started our daughter on the pill at age 16. In retrospect, it was probably a good idea.
There was silence in the kitchen for a while and finally our daughter said, "I guess you heard a lot."
My wife said, "It was hard to miss."
"I'm sorry, he can go a long time."
There was a long pause and my wife said, "Is it different with a black?"
"Jez, what a question! I guess, at least in his case." Again, a long pause. Our daughter continued, "I guess in your day, this was taboo."
My wife protested, 'I'm not that old; but, if you asking if I ever dated a black man, the answer is 'no.'
"Have you ever wondered about it?"
My wife said, "Wondered, yes." She laughed her nervous laugh. "Your father said I was jealous and that maybe he has an older brother I could hook up with."
"He has three older brothers. You want me to set you up with one?"
"Sure, just as soon as you talk your father into it." They both laughed. From there the conversation went onto other things.
In bed that night I asked my wife, "Does she know we were listening?"
"Yes, but she doesn't know how long."
"Are you jealous of her?"
"I guess I'm jealous of her youth and her freedom."
I said, "I was thinking how I would feel if I came home and heard that noise from our bedroom -- knowing your were with someone like him."
That got my wife's attention. "Why are you thinking things like that?"
"Don't you know of a couple women at work that have black lovers? Maybe you should experience it."
"So are they."
She turned over and stared at me. "Is this a joke, right?"
A couple days later when it was just our daughter and me in the kitchen, she asked "I guess you heard a lot the other night."
"Yes, and I think your mother is jealous."
"Did you really suggest she might be interested in one of his older brothers?"
"But you couldn't have been serious."
"Maybe it's something she would like to experience."
"Wow. And that would be okay with you?"
Just then we heard my wife coming downstairs, I said, "So could you make it happen?"
About a week later our daughter said, "My boyfriend and I are going to a nightclub; what if mom came along?"
"Do you have a date for her?"
"Possibly; is that all right?"
"Make sure she has condoms."
"My God, where have I heard that before? So how is this supposed to go down?"
"Simple, get her drunk and put them together. How do you think you were conceived?"
"Jez, I didn't need to know that!"
"So where will the two of them end up?"
"Probably in the back of my boyfriend's van. It's pretty well equipped."
"Look after your mother."
"This is totally weird!"
I searched my daughter's face when she and my wife got home at 2:30 a.m. My wife was looking a pretty hung over and she headed straight for bed without saying a word. My daughter said, "We left them alone in the van for over an hour and she was pretty drunk. He was all over her on the dance floor, so you can use your imagination. Are you sure you are okay with this?"
"Let me talk to her and see how it went."
The next evening in bed my wife said, "I guess you should know, although I can't remember much about it, I had sex with him. He left a message on my cell phone, but I haven't gotten back to him."
I said, "Call him. Maybe if you are sober next time you'll know more about it." I handed her cell phone and she said basically what I told her to. At one point she looked at me and said, "When? Well...?"
I whispered, "Tell him whenever your home and I'm at work; but to call first."
She whispered, "My God; you want me to tell him that?"
I said, "Tell him." She did and hung up. "What if our daughter is here?"
"She already knows you had sex with him; in fact, she set it up. You listened to her; now she can listen to you.
"This is...totally unwholesome!"
"So is jealousy, but I have a feeling you'll get over that."
Our daughter came home a couple times with her boyfriend when my wife was in the bedroom with her black lover. Although it was very awkward at first, gradually it was accepted.
I regularly talked to my daughter about how things were going. At one point she said, "I guess you mean with mom."
I said, "Yes."
She said, "I guess she's gotten used to the sex, a lot of sex. Does that bother you?"
"Is she enjoying it?"
She thought about it. "I'm sure she wouldn't do it if she wasn't. It's kind of like a new experience. Things were different when she grew up."
I said, "I would think this would bother you."
She shrugged. "It was kind of strange at first, but they both want it, so why not let them enjoy it? She looked at me, "I would think that you are the one that it would bother."
"I think she was jealous of you, and I'm not threatened by this guy. It's like she's gone back to when she was much younger; sort of like you."
"So I'm setting the example now?"
"I guess so."
She thought about it. "So I guess you want me to put the breaks on this?"
"No, see that she gets all the experiences she can handle."
"Experiences, with an "s?" You want me to set her up with another guy too?"
"If I remember correctly, you've dated two guys at the same time."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I've told you, your mom married early and then you came along. She missed out on all the stuff you are enjoying. Maybe it's time she made up for lost time."
My daughter thought about it. "Another cougar strikes."
"Keep her busy, but keep her out of trouble."