The Personal Account of a Prostitute
Dr Cherry Lee,
I would like to congratulate you on your very bold and enlightening web site VarietalSex.com. You discuss very controversial issues in a very progressive, open-minded and non judgmental way.
What interested me most, for personal reasons, was the topic of prostitution. In the hope that I can contribute something.
Here is my story.
I grew in a small village in a southern Mediterranean country. It was a farming community far removed from the large cities and tourist resort towns. After I finished high school I was not accepted to college. and even if I had been, my family would not have been able to afford it. Prospects for employment were limited.
There was a woman from my town that had moved and married in a nearby city. By time I was entering high school she had divorced . Divorce was not considered a good thing so she was not very popular. There were rumors that she had left her husband. In any case her ex-husband who was 15 years her elder died shortly after I graduated. She would drop by often when she came to town to visit her mother. My father would call her "cousin" (it turns out the were cousins twice removed or something) and I called her "aunt Nikki" or "Auntie."
She had taken an interest in me, which pleased me, telling me that a pretty girl like me deserved a better future than this town had to offer. I began to see her as a big sister. She gifted me small amounts of money for books and clothing which was much appreciated but made my parents uncomfortable out of pride.
About a year had passed since graduation, I was unemployed and my parents finally relented to allow me to move with her and work as a maid in her motel. It was about a 3-1/2 hour drive but from the look on my parents face you would have thought I was leaving the country. I fell in love with the place once I got there.
There were shops, boutiques, supermarkets, so many outfits to buy but very few that I could afford. Aunt Nikki was a doll though, buying me a couple outfits. I accepted as long as she promised not to tell my folks. It was going to be our secret.
I was getting paid every two weeks, the standard wages for a maid but not much. I got by because I was staying temporarily at Auntie's and I was even able to save a bit of money.
Finally, one day I told Auntie that I wanted more out of life. I wanted to get educated, get a good job and save money. She told me that girl as pretty as I was should have no problem earning a lot of money.
Her answer confused me and I asked her to explain. She said that many men would be willing to pay a lot of money to spend time with a girl like me. It finally hit me like a brick. I turned red and replied that I was not "a dirty" woman, that having sex before marriage was a sin and that working as a prostitute would be the ultimate sin. I said a man would never marry me and I would go to hell; plus, I could get a disease, get pregnant or even get arrested.
Auntie listened politely then asked me if I thought that Anna and Eva were "dirty women." Before I could respond she said, "they're prostitutes."
Auntie proceeded to address my sensibilities explaining that disease could be prevented by condoms, pregnancy by contraception, and that the police had only a minor interest in prostitution since the governing party was attempting to legalize it. She went on to explain that there were many women involved from all walks of life and most had no problem finding husbands.
Auntie explained that in the big city men found sexually experienced women highly desirable and did not look down upon them. She added that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute and later on became a Saint. [The Catholic Church, which first stated this fallacy, "corrected" the statement a few centuries later.] She explained that women were discreet but were not ashamed of what they did.
She told me that it was my body to do as I pleased and that I should not let self serving moralistic society dictate my actions. She told me that good people may go to heaven and bad people may go to hell but that it had nothing to do with who they slept with. She told me that life was not fair nor perfect and that sometimes we have to make brave scarifies to attain our goals. She also told me that there was more to it than having good looks, that a girl had to learn to enjoy sex and that in itself was was a matter of attitude and conditioning. She said most customers can tell right away if a girl is just going through the motions. If a girl likes having sex, it will show , making the experience better for both.
Auntie explained that a man pays for a a prostitute but what he is really wants is a whore. She said that many maids in the tourist resorts doubled as prostitutes. Clients would be tipped off by the fact that their their uniforms would be shorter, the girls flirty, and more often than not wore a gold bracelet on their right ankle.
I listened politely but turned Auntie down. I must admit however that Anna and Eva intrigued me. After all these were bold, assertive city girls without religious or social hangups. Pretty much they were everything I secretly desired to be.
A few months later with my financial situation not improving I began to seriously think about what was previously unthinkable for me. I was far from home and with Auntie covering for me who would ever find out?
Auntie would bring it up occasionally and I guess on her behalf Anna and Eva would nudge me to try it, telling me there was nothing really to it. Auntie explained that my inhibitions were results of society's conditioning. The stories about the money these girls were making were also intriguing. The first time would be the hardest she said both physically and emotionally, so it was critical to have a pleasant first experience. Then the rest would come naturally. But how would I ever get good at it? I was still a virgin!.
Auntie beamed with delight when I finally consented to try it. Anna and Eva were also pleased. Auntie took me for a "makeover"-- hair, nails, mascara etc. She took me to a doctor who immediately put me on the pill. A new more revealing outfit and silky smooth stockings came next as well as lessons in etiquette including keeping my pubic area nicely trimmed. Auntie introduced me to Theo, a friend of hers who helped me with my "little problem" making my deflowering as gentle and pleasant as possible.
Days later Auntie told me that a quest, a German tourist, had requested me. I felt my heart racing strangely from both nervousness and anticipation. I new the time had come to perform and I wanted to get it over with.
When I got to his room I removed my panties in the bathroom and placed them in my purse. Taking out a tube of lube Auntie had provided I applied a liberal portion deep inside my vagina as instructed. It was then time for time for contemplation and final preparations. Looking in the mirror I adjusted my uniform and stockings.
My first time (for money) was not as hard as I had anticipated, yet it was still a bit traumatic. I was nervous and scared while at the same time trying to appear confident and sexy. When I undressed he was pleased with what he saw and that went a long way in making me feel more confident. During foreplay thoughts were racing in my mind. Should I continue or cut and run? I didn't run and when he thrust his penis deep inside me I crossed the Rubicon. It was time to make the best of it.
After about 3 months of "seasoning " at the motel Auntie felt I was now ready to "go about town." After our shifts were over Anna, Eva and I would dress up and work the lobbies of the fancier hotels in town, the bars, clubs and the boardwalk. At first I was self conscious and prayed that no one would notice, except the client of course, as I strolled about in a sexy halter top mini dress or even hot shorts with a tube or tank top. If anything announced to the world my status as a hooker it had to be the stockings and the high heels.
At some of this clubs the women dressed so provocatively that sometimes it was hard to tell the wives and girlfriends from the hookers. One guy actually thought I wanted to be his girlfriend. I was trying to give him subtle hints but to no avail so I just blurted out that he had to pay me. He looked in disbelief and before he could reply I told him that I was a prostitute.
That was the big breakthrough moment for me. That's when I used the word "prostitute" to describe myself with a smile on my face and without shame. I was now totally comfortable with what I had become. The feelings of guilt were gone for good.
Within nine months of working for auntie I had become a professional prostitute turning tricks three to four nights per week. I had become a self-confident, assertive woman totally comfortable with her body and sexuality.
I never got arrested, and took precautions to stay pregnant and disease free. Not only was I enjoying the sex but the thought that men were willing to pay to be with me was huge turn-on and a pretty addictive feeling in itself. The money was also a pretty good incentive and I. eventually I saved enough to buy a apartment.
Eventually I met a wonderful open-minded American, whose mother was born in my country, who did not prejudge me. We married and moved to the US where I went to school and I am now a interior decorator.
While I can not say this is for all women, in my case prostitution was empowering, liberating and did not harm my self esteem.