New Definitions For Some Old Terms
With the advent of women's liberation, effective birth control and pharmaceutical libido enhancements, we are now seeing evidence of what can be called modern polyandry -- a term that is also taking on a slightly different meaning.
Hotwives, Cuckold Husbands
Hotwife (hot wife) defined. A wife who stays committed to her husband but takes advantage of agreed on freedom to have sex with other men.
The hotwife (technically known as a solo nonmonogamous wife) may enjoy the attention of men, the freedom to pursue sexual partners, the excitement of new sexual experiences, and as a married women the "forbidden" nature of what she's doing.
Many women today are attempting to free themselves from centuries of religion-based sexual suppression, originally set forth in early Jewish tribal law when wives were seen as a husband's property and had few rights .
According to some sources, fantasizing about watching a man have sex with his wife ranks among the top male fantasies.
The hotwife's husband, sometimes referred to as the cuckold husband (see below), gets vicarious sexual pleasure from his wife's sexual experiences.
Although "promiscuous" has been commonly seen as a negative term, some women now let it be known that they regularly meet the sexual needs of more than one man -- especially when the sexual interest (libido) of their primary partner has significantly declined.
Some women like the feeling of crashing through propriety "cougar" style. Others, not wanting to be that bold or risk rejection, prefer that their husbands set up their sexual liaisons.
Some say the hotwife and cuckold husband behaviors ultimately spring from evolutionary needs. This file delves into the evolutionary motivations.
Today, there are scores of Internet sites devoted to wives looking for extramarital affairs. Many porno sites feature photos of women clearly showing wedding rings while being photographed (often by their husbands) having sex with men they are not married to.
Cuckold Husband Defined.
The word used to refer to unfortunate men whose wives were having secret affairs with men. Often, the husband was the last to know -- if he ever did.
However, today, the term more commonly refers to men who want and even encourage their wives to have sex outside of the marriage.
In today's climate of increased sexual expectations and declining male libidos, many husbands can no longer meet their wife's sexual needs.
Under agreed upon conditions, more and more husbands are giving their wives permission to have purely sexual liaisons.
To make it clear that this is with her husband's approval, he may buy her a gold chain to regularly wear on her right ankle. This signals to men in the know that, although married, she is free to have sex with other men.
Her husband trusts her to be careful and to keep him informed, generally by texts, about where she is, who she is with, and when he should expect her home.
In recent years black-on-white sex (white women, black men) has greatly grown in popularity, starting as early as high school.
Some Internet sites have thousands of photos of attractive young white women with black lovers.
According to one husband -
Even so --
The vast majority of married coupled have a need to see a partner as exclusively theirs. especially during the early years of the relationship.
Maybe society will evolve to the point where individuals are secure enough in themselves not to be threatened by the prospect of hotwives and open marriages. However, for the vast majority, that time is not now.
At the same time, with affairs taking place in about 50% of urban marriages, an argument can be made for "sanctioned affairs" that do not involve deceit and "cheating."
And, finally, then there is this: wives have been known to introduce the hotwife fantasy into a marriage, making a husband believe that it was his idea.
This can be the case when she wants to hang onto the security of the marriage while being allowed to have lovers.
We also can't leave out the motivation of "other men" -- the ones that find out she "will" and start pursuing her.
Although all of this may sound inviting, for reasons explained here, this road is fraught with major dangers for marriages and relationships.
Consensual adultery has more information on this topic.
Some years ago when we first started writing about "hotwives," we decided that the term would be best as one word instead of "hot wives."
This would differentiate the term from this application: "The air conditioning was broken at the DAR meeting, which resulted in many hot wives" -- a distinction that DAR women would undoubtedly appreciate.
* Polyandry is discussed in more detail here.